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Love vs. Infatuation Greta Bailey, THRIVE Educator Not even 24 hours after February 14th, stores will rapidly throw away their sparkly heart-shaped decorations, take down their romantic flower displays, and try to get rid of their chocolate boxes as fast as they can. Valentine’s Day will be a thing of the past, and any signs or sales reminiscent of the holiday will be completely outdated. In the blink of an eye, all the hype will disappear until next February, where it will materialize for yet another brief lifespan…  For readers who do not know, Life’s Choices is a proud supporter/benefactor of THRIVE, a healthy relationship education program. THRIVE is dedicated to teaching middle/high school students how to build healthy relationships and avoid risky and harmful behaviors. I have been working with the THRIVE team as an educator for over 2 years. During that time, I have seen hundreds of students and have been able to have some great discussions with them about relationships and future goals, and how to make healthy decisions. Thinking about the wildly intense-yet-temporary holiday that we know as Valentine’s Day, I am reminded of a lesson that I have had the joy of teaching with the THRIVE program: a simple lesson we call, “Love vs. Infatuation.” Simple in nature, yet complex and valuable in application, this lesson is a favorite of mine to teach. Typically done in a middle school setting, “Love vs. Infatuation” goes a bit like this: I will ask the class, “What does the word ‘infatuation’ mean?” Some hands pop up. I might get a few answers like,  “being obsessed” or “REALLY liking somebody.”  Then I ask the same thing about the word “love.” Here, the class will pause. What does love mean? Answers usually come slower…  “Does it mean to really care about someone?” “Maybe to think about someone a lot and want the best for them?” I always help them out by giving them actual definitions after this little brainstorming exercise.  Infatuation: extreme passion, without much thought, often leading to foolish behavior. Love: tender and deep affection for someone. (thank you, Dictionary.com) “In other words,” I tell the class, “infatuation is like getting a HUGE crush on someone…can anyone relate to that?” *giggles all around the room* I respond, “Oftentimes a crush can come and go pretty quickly, and we can act pretty silly when we’re infatuated with someone. Love, however, means really knowing someone, committing yourself to them, and having a connection that lasts.” We then use these definitions as a springboard for the main activity of the class. Here, we will hand out laminated cards with descriptors written on them to each student. It is now the class’s task to figure out whether a card will go into the “Love” or “Infatuation” card pile. Simple, right? The reason that this is one of my favorite lessons to share with a class is that it gives us a chance to really get talking.  A student will come to the front with her card. It has “Strong Friendship” written on it. With the help of her classmates, she places it in the “Love” pile. I ask her why she chose to put it there, and she responds that love means getting to know someone and connecting with them. Perfect! Next student’s card: “Based on Physical Attraction.” This one is placed in the “Infatuation” pile. To which I’ll agree. “Physical attraction is important in a loving, romantic relationship. But basing your entire interaction with someone on their physical attractiveness is not a strong foundation that will last.” We go on until all the cards have been placed. If a student struggles with one or gets one wrong, we talk about it a bit more, always showing understanding. By the end, the class seems confident that they can tell the difference between the two concepts. And here is the final question: why do you think it would be important to know the difference between love and infatuation? Now, hands shoot up all over the room. And I hear answers like: “Because infatuation doesn’t always last.”     “Love is a choice; infatuation is all about feelings.” “Love is more selfless.”     “Relationships need love, not just infatuation.” Music to my ears! Because so often I see young people acting on just infatuation, hopping from one crush to another. Wearing themselves out emotionally because their connections are intense-yet-temporary. In a day or two, something that seemed so big to them is simply gone.  But I leave this class feeling hopeful. These students at least know what to look for now. They can enter back into their world knowing that infatuation is fun, but love is the goal. Perhaps this is something that adults need to be reminded of as well. It can be so easy to settle for the fast, rush of positive emotions that comes with infatuation. We enjoy the ease of it. Then, sadly, when the infatuation stage wears thin, we are ready to move on. And just like the store shelves, we are left feeling empty again. This cycle does more harm than good. If we want healthy and lasting relationships, we have to remember that love takes effort, but it is so much more rewarding and fulfilling than infatuation. As February winds down, and the infatuation with Valentine’s Day dwindles away, remember that love is a decision. We choose to love. Even when we don’t necessarily feel like it. Even when it isn’t the most fun thing. Love lasts. It takes root slowly and is strengthened by time. Love can weather a storm and come out stronger than ever. Don’t chase infatuation. Choose love. #blog #classes

It’s no secret that the most wonderful time of the year can turn even the jolliest of us into the Grinch. While Christmas should be a joyful celebration (a Savior has been born who is Christ the Lord!), all the preparation and traditions can sneakily shift our eyes away from the true meaning of Christmas, leaving our homes filled with unwelcome tension and stress. Want to be smiling when you sing the famous lyrics, “ There’s no place like home for the holidays ?” Here are five ways to help you and your family avoid holiday stress and to stay merry and bright this Christmas! 1. REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON I know… it’s a cliché answer, but it’s worthy of mention. Nothing is better than Jesus, but if you’re like us, the many things on our to-do lists can quickly take center stage. Here are three questions to help you keep Jesus as the center of your celebrations: What is the theme of my Christmas celebrations?  What is the purpose of our celebrations?  What needs to be done to fulfill this purpose? For example: – Our theme is Jesus. All things point to Him. – The purpose is to remember the prophecy of the Messiah fulfilled, to teach our children the importance of celebrating this great historical event and to spend time recalling God’s faithfulness to keeping His promises. – We intend to fulfill this purpose by gifting as a way of celebrating the gift of Jesus, feasting in celebration of the Messiah, doing a daily advent devotional or read Scriptures pertaining to Jesus’ birth, and filling our home with songs of worship and praise.  Your family may answer differently, but whatever you answer, these questions will help you keep your to-do’s from taking over! 2. EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL, EXERCISE It’s no secret that the average American gains weight over the holidays, but the whole truth is that all those cookies and treats are also no good for stress! Instead, fill your plate with fermented foods, foods high in vitamin C, and foods that can reduce cortisol levels such as grapefruits, bananas, and yes, even dark chocolate! The American Psychiatric Association reports that sleep is so crucial that even slight sleep deprivation or poor sleep can affect memory, judgment, and mood. Don’t let that to-do list keep you up at night! Getting the right amount of sleep, seven to nine hours a night, will help you be efficient in those waking hours. Exercise. Even a 20-minute brisk walk each day can have a significant impact on your stress levels and curb anxiety! Take the time to fit it in, and if you can’t, know that even 10 minutes of intentional movement can start to reduce anxiety symptoms.  3. BUDGET It’s been said many times, many ways, that money is a leading cause of marital troubles. So, it’s no surprise that it can also be a great source of tension during the gift-giving season! Take some time to write your list of extra expenses and review them with your spouse. Pray about your spending. Decide together what purchases you’ll make. Don’t forget to include the extra foods, party supplies, and dining out expenses in your budget plans. 4. DON’T BE A SLAVE TO TRADITIONS While we love traditions — looking at lights, building gingerbread houses, baking dozens and dozens of cookies from scratch, and so much more — they can be exhausting. If you’re feeling great and can do it all again this year, do it! But if your holiday cheer is being depleted by the expectations of each year, go back to my first tip, and choose a few that fit your theme and purpose! 5. EXPECT A LITTLE STRESS It’s a busier time of the year. Celebrations don’t come without a little extra grit. The first Christmas wasn’t even stress-free. I mean, would you want to ride on a donkey several months pregnant? If you’re experiencing a little stress, you’re not alone. Don’t allow self-care culture to make you feel guilty about putting some hard work in to your home and family and even celebrating Jesus! This season does require a little planning, work, and fun! Instead of focusing on ridding yourself of all the stress, take some deep breaths and decide to enjoy it! Think of the stress Mary faced as she carried Jesus — unwed, young, with many unplanned (by her) circumstances. And yet, Luke 2:19 tells us that Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. While the holidays are busy and can add tension to our homes, we encourage you to treasure up the happenings of Jesus’ birth in your heart this season. At Life’s Choices, our prayer for you is this : “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13 And may your Christmas days be merry & bright! Contact Us #christmasstress #familypeace #familyrelationships #harmonyathome #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztown #holidaystress

GUEST BLOG : Align Pregnancy Center When a close friend tells you they have accidentally become pregnant, you may want to offer them support, but you may not know exactly what that support should entail. After all, learning that you’re pregnant can be extremely overwhelming; what can you say to comfort someone in that situation? Ultimately, the most important thing you can do is just be their friend. However, knowing what else you can do to support them through this time can make all of the difference. Here are a few ways to support your friend who is facing an unplanned pregnancy. KNOW WHAT TO SAY Your friend likely feels a range of intense emotions immediately following their positive pregnancy test. They may feel scared, alone, confused, or even ashamed. As their friend, it is important to be there for them emotionally. Listen to them without judgment , and let them know that you support whatever decision they make about their pregnancy. In addition, avoid giving them unsolicited advice or making assumptions about what they are going through. Here are a few things you can say to your friend: “I’m so sorry to hear that this wasn’t what you were expecting. I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do.” “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now. Can I do anything to help?” “Thank you for telling me this. I know it wasn’t easy for you to share and to trust me with this information.” “Don’t worry — you’re not alone. I’m here for you, and we’ll get through this together with the help of your support system.” KNOW WHAT NOT TO SAY Knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what to say to your pregnant friend. As their confidante, it is crucial to be mindful of the words you use and how they might affect someone that needs support and compassion. In general, avoid making any statements that could come across as judgmental, dismissive, or hurtful. The way you respond to your friend’s news can either make them feel supported or further isolate them during a difficult time. Here are a few things you should avoid saying to your friend: “You should have been more careful.” “Aren’t you happy?” “I don’t know how you’re going to handle this.” “This is going to be a lot of work for you.” “You’re not the first person this has happened to, you know.” HOW TO BE THERE FOR THEM To provide the best support to your friend, it is crucial to know that you don’t need to be an expert in this situation. You need to be supportive, but you don’t necessarily need to provide solutions. It is your friend’s pregnancy, and they will ultimately make the decisions about what is best for them and their baby. However, you can still be an excellent support system with the following tips: Acknowledge their feelings By simply listening to your friend and validating their feelings, you can help them feel supported. It is okay for them to feel happy, overwhelmed, or even scared about the pregnancy — let them know that it is all normal. Educate yourself To be the best support possible, you must educate yourself on all of the aspects of pregnancy. This way, you can provide your friend with accurate information and help them make informed decisions. Be a reminder It can be easy for your friend to forget about their own needs when they’re focused on their pregnancy. Be a reminder for them to take care of themselves — both physically and emotionally. Help them make doctor’s appointments, get enough rest, and eat healthy foods. OFFER PRACTICAL HELP Think about the question, “what pregnancy help for my friend can I offer?” and brainstorm a list of things you could do to help your friend in this situation. The type of support they need most can vary with each week of pregnancy. A pregnant woman often needs emotional support more than anything else, but practical help is always appreciated, especially if your friend is considering raising the child by themself. The best way to offer valuable service is to simply ask what they need and then follow through . It can be as simple as offering to babysit their other children so they can have a break or picking up groceries for them. If you want to do something more significant, you could offer to help with the cost of baby items like a crib, car seat, or stroller. DON’T JUDGE THEM Judgment can push someone away when they need support the most. If your friend is confiding in you about their unintended pregnancy, it’s important to be there for them without passing judgment. They are already facing enough judgment from themselves and others, and they need your understanding. In this situation, it’s not about you or your opinions, it’s about them and what they are going through. It’s best to realize that your role is to be supportive instead of judgmental. LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS While you may have strong opinions about what your friend should do, it’s important to let them make their own decisions. This is their pregnancy, and they are the one who will need to live with the consequences of whatever decision they make. Offer your support and help them to weigh all of their options, but ultimately let them make the best decision for themselves. It can be easy to want to offer advice or tell them what you would do in their situation, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t about you. Your friend is the one who has to make this decision, and they will do what is best for them. CONNECT THEM WITH A PREGNANCY CENTER Having a better understanding of what your friend is dealing with will help you be a more supportive friend to them. Now that you are aware of the challenges and issues they are facing, you can be there for them in whatever capacity they need. Whether your friend decides to parent, place their child for adoption, or have an abortion, know that you are a valuable support system for them. Your friendship and love will make all the difference during this special time in their life. To provide your pregnant friend with additional resources, you can connect her with a local pregnancy center. Pregnancy centers like Life’s Choices and Align Pregnancy Center offer clients a variety of free services. At Life’s Choices, clients have access to a free confirmation ultrasounds , our Baby Bundle , prenatal and parenting classes , and much more. Contact Life’s Choices today for more information about our completely free and confidential services. Contact Us #helpfulfriend #friendship #unexpectedpregnancy #confirmationultrasound #freepregnancyresources #hamburgpennsylvania #unintendedpregnancy #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #prenatalclasses #supportivefriend #pregnancycenter #kutztown #babybundle #parentingclasses #unplannedpregnancy #pregnancy

Everyday in our community and around the world, women face unexpected pregnancies. An unplanned pregnancy can initiate many emotions ranging from excitement to fear, which can result in a variety of choices. If you have experienced an unplanned pregnancy and have chosen abortion, we do not place blame or shame on you, but instead we offer post-abortion support and care to any woman who has walked this path and is seeking healing. THE GAP IN ABORTION CLINICS When a woman pursues abortion, she might be given brief information on the types of abortions offered or a quick overview of how the procedure works. However, many women are not truly prepared for what they will experience. In addition, countless women have been brave enough to share their abortion stories, discussing the lack of information or options they received and the toll their abortion took on their physical and mental health. Even though some may feel a sense of immediate relief at the time of termination, many women are traumatized by what they experience physically and mentally, and they are not prepared for the wave of emotions that often follow. Unfortunately, facilities that offer abortion services provide no emotional support or follow-up care once the procedure is completed. The patient is simply ushered out the door, never to be seen again. Typically, women are left alone to deal with the aftermath of their trauma and the roller coaster of emotions they are experiencing. Some women who have experienced abortion may be at risk of depression, anxiety, drug use and suicide. Women don’t deserve to suffer in silence, and they shouldn’t. They deserve restoration and healing. WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO FIND POST-ABORTION SUPPORT There is hope in healing. Many pregnancy centers, including Life’s Choices, offer post-abortion care support groups. These groups are never designed to shame but rather to help women work through their experiences alongside other women who have walked a similar path. Our Abortion Healing Bible Study is designed to empower women — whether their abortion was yesterday or 30 years ago — with the tools they need to heal and no longer suffer in silence as so many women do. If you are suffering in silence, please call Life’s Choices and get connected. There is care also for men, as we know that men too are affected by a decision of abortion. All human beings have feelings and emotions, and all deserve healing. If you or a friend may be suffering from the choice of an abortion, please reach out. We are here to help. God desires that both women and men be set free from hurt and pain. If you’re looking to join Life’s Choices’ Abortion Healing Bible Study or you’re looking for a mentor to speak with about your experience, we encourage you to contact us today. We are here for you, and you’re not alone. Contact Us “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4 #abortionhealingbiblestudy #pregnancyloss #griefandhealing #abortionregret #postabortioncare #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #postabortionsupport #abortionsupport #abortionhealing #kutztown

By: Sheila, Life’s Choices volunteer October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Pregnancy and infant loss is unfortunately part of many families’ stories. Whether a loss occurred during pregnancy or sometime after birth, he/she was someone’s child, and the pain is very real no matter how tiny the baby. That’s why I felt led to share my story with you. Many mamas and families suffer in silence, but they don’t have to. I share my story to bring comfort to those who have lost a baby and bring understanding and awareness to those who have not. MY FIRST GRANDSON, LOST TOO SOON Yesterday, I realized my grandson would have turned 13 on November 2, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. His name was Zander, and he was perfect in every way — except physically, he wasn’t. He had a blood clotting disorder that had caused him to have a stroke. I will always cherish the moments I had with him, to hold and sing to him even though his spirit was no longer with us. On November 2, 2009, at 2 a.m., I received the worst phone call of my life. It was my daughter, and it was a cry that haunts most obstetric nurses and physicians — one I have heard before and many times after that night. This night, it was different — it was my daughter’s cry. “Mommy, he’s gone.” I had walked this path with other families as a labor and delivery nurse who happened to be on the infant loss bereavement team, but in that moment, the pain was personal. MAKING MEMORIES AND KEEPING THEM CLOSE My daughter and grandson were five hours away from me, and all I wanted to do was get to them as quickly as possible. As I stood in front of my suitcase, I could not even think clearly enough to know what to pack — nothing except a camera. You may think this seems strange, but creating memories for families who have lost an infant is important. Footprints and photos taken are often some of the few physical memories they will have of their baby. After I had packed my camera and my other two children’s bags, we made that very long five hour journey to upstate New York. It was here that Zander would be born into his mother’s arms at 11:26 p.m. He was five pounds, nine ounces and 18 ¾ inches long with a head full of dark curly hair. I can remember looking at him as he was born and saying repeatedly in my head, “Breath. Please just breath.” I wanted so badly for the doctor to be wrong even though I knew she was not. After his birth, we filled the room with family. We loved and supported my daughter and her husband. We held him and made our own memories with Zander. I sang to him, as I have always sung to my babies and was looking so forward to doing the same with my first grandchild. On November 3rd at 12:30 a.m., we were joined by a pastor who baptized Zander. After the baptism, it was time for Zander’s bath. Due to some complications with my daughter, she was not able to get out of bed to bathe Zander, so she allowed me to bathe him for her. Soon after, it was time to say goodbye and travel back to Pennsylvania. SAYING GOODBYE AND HOW TO HELP Later that week, we had funeral services for him. My 10-year-old daughter placed a stuffed bear she had bought for Zander in between his legs. She said she wanted him to have it always. I tucked him into his baby rest and told him, “Until we meet again, sweet baby boy. I will love you forever.” I also assembled a beautiful display of his photographs that were set beside his baby rest at the cemetery. He was laid to rest in the same spot as my grandmother — most cemeteries will allow that. If your loved one has lost an infant and you have received permission from the parents, calling funeral homes to assist with details can be extremely helpful to bereaving parents. For example, some funeral homes will not charge you above what they have purchased the baby rest for. Help parents confirm which funeral homes are empathetic to the loss of a baby and will help support the family with no financial gain. EXPERIENCING GRIEF AND HOW TO HEAL After the funeral, our family had much healing to do. I won’t share my daughter’s post birth story, but I can tell you I was severely depressed for about a year after this. I was able to manage daily activities, but there was no room for anything else. I carried a lot of guilt. As a labor and delivery nurse, it was very hard to know I had helped to save the lives of other babies but was unable to save that of my own grandchild. I am so thankful God had surrounded me with wonderful, amazing, and patient people to help me through — and there is a “through!” My 10-year-old daughter also struggled through this and expressed her grief with anger. In my own grief, I failed to recognize her pain. She desperately needed to talk about her nephew but was afraid to because she didn’t want to upset me. Once I realized, we sat down and talked. We went through Zanders pictures, and I reassured her that she could talk to me about him anytime. Yes, it might make me sad, but that’s ok. That’s normal. It’s very important to remember that siblings and other family members will grieve this kind of loss as well. Children as young as three years old are very aware that there was a new baby on the way, and they know that something is different. It is important to be honest with them using age-appropriate language. Please be very careful not to say things like, “The baby went to sleep,” or “The baby was so good that God wanted him in heaven.” Remember that children take things literally. It is also healing for them to be either present to see their sibling or to see his/her photos, no matter how small baby was. Studies have shown that this helps in the grieving and healing process with children. If a mom or dad are finding they are unable to cope with the needs of their other children’s grief, know that it’s ok. What is most important is that you give them permission to speak with a safe person or a counselor. CARING FOR BEREAVED PARENTS Friends and family, please keep a close watch on the mamas who have lost a child. They are going to grieve and will need some privacy in their grieving, but stay involved and ask questions to make sure there are not considerations for self harm. Stay in tune with the fathers, too. As many men are the protectors in their relationships, they may want to be strong for their wife or partner and therefore may not allow themselves to grieve. Men, as the husband or partner, you need to grieve, too, and mama needs you to grieve with her. In order to heal, allowing yourself to grieve is important. Moms and dads, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are not comfortable with a counselor, try reaching out to local churches; they may have a list of support groups that you can connect with. You don’t have to go through the grief of infant loss by yourself. I would encourage anyone who has walked this journey to please share your story, share your photos, and share your child. Let others know they are not alone and do not have to suffer in silence. You matter, and your baby matters. LIFE’S CHOICES IS HERE FOR YOU If you’ve experienced pregnancy or infant loss and are looking for support, Life’s Choices welcomes you to contact us today to speak to a mentor. We are here to provide you with resources and friendship on your path to healing. And if you have experienced an abortion, whether recently or in your past, we encourage you to ask us about our abortion healing Bible studies . Life’s Choices is here for you. Contact Us “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” – Psalm 34:18 #pregnancyloss #childloss #griefandhealing #miscarriageawareness #abortionregret #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #infantloss #abortionhealing #kutztown #pregnancylossandinfantawarenessmonth

Life’s Choices has been watching with anticipation, along with the rest of our nation, to see what decision would be coming from the Supreme Court as it relates to abortion laws. Today marks that day. Our organization does not get involved in political activism or attempting to influence legislation, as is clearly stated in our bylaws. However, we do keep close watch on current events so that we always remain relevant in our services. Today’s reversal of Roe v. Wade does not make abortion illegal in the United States, but rather, gives the power back to individual states to decide. In Pennsylvania, abortion is legal until 24 weeks gestation. Other states have greater restrictions, and some may now make the decision to ban abortion completely. What does a post-Roe culture look like for Life’s Choices? PRACTICAL SUPPORT & LONG-TERM SOLUTIONS At Life’s Choices, we are well aware that any change in abortion laws will not solve the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Whether or not abortion laws become more restrictive in Pennsylvania, we are here to provide women in unintended pregnancies with practical support. We are here to help them through their immediate crisis as well as seek long-term solutions to the complex problems that drive them towards abortion. One way we are doing that is by an increased focus on follow-up care through case management services . We are committed to walking beside our client on her journey and not just sending her away with a handful of pamphlets. For needs that go beyond our ability to provide, we recently connected with an organization called LoveLine , a case management resource focusing on meeting needs of single moms. Our clients have already benefited, receiving rental assistance and professional therap y as a follow up to services received in our offices. EDUCATIONAL & MATERIAL RESOURCES We invite moms and dads to learn parenting skills by participating in over 150 classe s through a program called Bright Course. These classes can be done in our office or remotely from their own home. Each time they complete a class they earn points that can be used in our Baby Boutique to supply them with diapers, wipes, formula or other baby items. Our Baby Bundle provides an expectant mom with an abundance of free resources and at the completion of classes she earns a brand-new car seat and a newborn photo shoot, a service donated by local professional photographers. CONFIRMATION ULTRASOUNDS One of our specialties is early pregnancy confirmation through ultrasound . This service becomes more relevant as at-home medical abortions are currently available through telehealth appointments. A pregnancy test alone gives very little information. Whether a pregnancy is planned or unplanned, whether someone desperately wants to be pregnant or desperately wants to be “unpregnant,” an early confirmation ultrasound allows a woman to fully understand her current situation in order to make the best choices for her future. NO MATTER WHAT, LIFE’S CHOICES IS HERE TO SUPPORT WOMEN Today, women and men across the nation are processing this historic moment through the lens of their own belief system, their values and past experiences. Passions are ignited, and that is understandable. It is our hope that rather than turn against one another we would join together to support women and provide them with resources to make positive life decisions that lead them towards a healthy and successful future. We are grateful to be part of a caring community, and we welcome any woman or man who needs pregnancy or parenting support to come to us for help and hope. Life’s Choices does not discriminate in providing services because of race, creed, color, religion, national origin, age, marital status, gender or orientation. Now is the time for social services, nonprofits, churches and individuals to link arms and provide women with every possible resource in their choice for life. To learn more about our completely free and confidential resources, we encourage you to take a look around our website or contact us for more information. CONTACT US #roevwade #freepregnancyservices #crisispregnancycenter #postroevwade #confirmationultrasounds #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #crisispregnancy #berkscountynonprofit #readingpennsylvania #freeultrasound #pregnancyhelp #hamburgpennsylvania #roevwadeoverturn #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztown #pregnancyresourcecenter #pregnancy

These are historic times as the Supreme Court will soon make a decision that could reverse Roe v. Wade. Should this happen, it would not make abortion illegal, but turns abortion laws back to the states to decide. Life’s Choices intentionally does not get involved in political activism. However we keep close watch on current events so that we always remain relevant. At Life’s Choices we are making sure that we are prepared for a post-Roe culture. We are well aware that a reversal of Roe v. Wade will not solve the problem of unwanted pregnancies. Whether or not abortion laws become more restrictive, we are here to provide women in unintended pregnancies with practical support to help them through their immediate crisis as well as seek long-term solutions to the complex problems that drive them towards abortion. JOINING HANDS WITH LOVELINE In an effort to prepare for the changes ahead, Life’s Choices hosted a Case Management Workshop for area pregnancy centers to learn about a resource called LoveLine . LoveLine is a subsidiary of Abby Johnson’s ProLove Ministries and provides rent assistance, utilities payments, therapy, and more to women who feel so desperate that they are seeking an abortion as a way out. On April 1 Life’s Choices hosted four presenters from ProLove Ministries and held the workshop at Salem Church in Lenhartsville. Almost 40 people were in attendance, representing eight Pennsylvania pregnancy centers. LoveLine’s headquarters are in Texas, but services are provided remotely, so pregnancy centers all across the nation can refer clients to them. Several of our clients have benefitted already, receiving financial assistance and professional therapy as a follow-up to services received in our offices. TOGETHER WE CAN GO THE DISTANCE Life’s Choices is proud to be a part of helping PA pregnancy centers prepare for the changes ahead by providing this workshop. Someone once said, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Our sites are set beyond abortion laws, to a culture where women do not have to choose between being a mom and having a successful future. To go the distance, Life’s Choices is partnering with churches, individuals, and other organizations to surround women in difficult pregnancy situations and support them in their choice for life. To learn more about Life’s Choices free services or the schedule an appointment, contact us today! We would love to be a free resource for you as you determine your options. Contact Us #roevwade #freepregnancyservices #crisispregnancycenter #confirmationultrasounds #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #telemedabortions #crisispregnancy #unexpectedpregnancy #readingpennsylvania #freeultrasound #pregnancyhelp #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztownuniversity #pregnancytesting #kutztown #unplannedpregnancy #pregnancyresourcecenter #pregnancy

“I wanted to be with someone when I took the test.” Scared and alone, a young woman explained why she came to our office for a pregnancy test instead of taking one at home. She wanted to be in the comforting presence of another person to help her face whatever was ahead. As if a pregnancy test isn’t scary enough, imagine going through an at-home abortion completely alone. IN-PERSON SERVICES FOR YOU Last December the FDA approved the use of the abortion pill, (mifepristone/misoprostol) through telehealth appointments, which allows the medication to be dispersed by prescription without an in-person doctor’s visit. This change brings even more value to the in-person services provided by Life’s Choices. Pregnancy confirmation by ultrasound, which we provide free of charge , will become more essential than ever, as not every doctor requires it with a telehealth abortion. WHY CONFIRMATION ULTRASOUNDS MATTER The practical reasons for requiring an ultrasound before an abortion are to determine the gestational age and to check that the pregnancy is viable and in the uterus . Without this confirmation, the woman could potentially undergo the cost, emotional trauma, and unnecessary procedure of an elective abortion when there was, in fact, no live fetus. Additionally, if the fertilized egg was not implanted in the uterus ( ectopic pregnancy ) an abortion would not remove the embryo and a potentially life-threatening condition would not be detected. No woman should have to potentially make such a life-altering decision like having an abortion completely alone, in the absence of another human being. Our goal is to offer each client an ultrasound to first confirm the pregnancy and then provide factual information about fetal development and abortion procedures so that she can make an informed decision. More importantly, she is assured the compassionate presence of another person to confide in while she considers all her options. It is our goal to be a safe place. If you’re facing an abortion decision and are looking for more information and a listening ear, we are here for you. Contact Life’s Choices today to schedule a free confirmation ultrasound or to learn more about your options: Contact Us #freepregnancyservices #abortionpill #crisispregnancycenter #confirmationultrasounds #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #athomeabortion #pregnantandscared #crisispregnancy #unexpectedpregnancy #readingpennsylvania #freeultrasound #pregnancyhelp #shouldihaveanabortion #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztownuniversity #pregnancytesting #kutztown #unplannedpregnancy #pregnancyresourcecenter #pregnancy

If you’re in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy, it’s possible the thought of birthing and parenting a child initiates fear or resistance. Maybe you’re thinking, “There’s no way I can have this baby.” And in many ways your fears are valid – being a mother can be challenging. If it’s your first child especially, the transition to motherhood is quite an adjustment. But we believe that with all the difficult aspects of motherhood, the beauty of it overshadows the hard things. This might not be the journey you would have chosen for yourself, but it’s one that is completely worth your time, effort and love. It’s natural to be a bit scared about being pregnant. Maybe deep in your heart you desire to mother your child, but knowing what you don’t know scares you and you don’t think you can do it. We’re here to tell you that you can do it ! Here’s why we believe you’re the best mom for your baby: 1. MOTHERING IS A GOD-GIVEN INSTINCT Whether you have cared for someone else’s child before or have never even held a baby… Whether you have read 1,000 parenting books or have read exactly zero books… Whether you have seen friends and family members parent before or know no parents at all… …There is nothing like having your own child – and that’s a good thing! God designed motherhood to be unique and instinctive. No one knows everything about motherhood, and every first-time mother (and even a seasoned mother) experiences some sort of panic about not knowing what to do at some point in their motherhood journey … and that’s normal . Every mom learns along the way, and you’ll be surprised by how much you naturally know or figure out simply by being your baby’s God-given mother! 2. AS YOUR CHILD GROWS, SO WILL YOU It’s common knowledge that babies are born… but did you know that mothers are born, too? At that moment of conception, something occurs that hasn’t before: motherhood! And when you give birth to your baby, it’s first cry releasing as he or she enters the world, something beautiful, new and natural grows inside of you. People don’t often talk about how women change a little bit (and sometimes a lot) when they become mothers, because they are now experiencing a part of themselves they’ve not yet tapped into. As the days and months and years pass, you will continue to grow into this newly birthed role of “mother.” You won’t be the mother you want to be overnight, and just as your child changes, grows and develops with each stage of life, you will, too! Give yourself room to learn and grow, and let yourself embrace the journey with joy and grace. 3. CHILDREN DON’T NEED PERFECT, THEY NEED PRESENT The reality is: no one’s perfect. No one will make the right decision or react the best way 100 percent of the time. There will be days you make mistakes and lose your patience. There will be days you feel discouraged and defeated. But there will also be days you see your child finally understand something you’ve spent countless hours teaching them. And there will be moments you see how the deep love you’ve invested in your child was worth every struggle and frustration. Even with all the hard moments and mistakes, when it comes down to it, your child needs you because you’re their mama! Children don’t need perfection … they just need your presence, both physically and emotionally. Parenting takes sacrifice of time, energy and self, but with it comes abundant blessing and growth! 4. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW If you’re pregnant and reading this right now, you’re already doing amazing things. Here are a few unseen things taking place at this moment: Your body is growing an entire human. THAT IS AMAZING! Even though you can’t see it, and even if it’s too early to feel your baby’s movements yet, your child is developing in incredible ways. From forming a little tiny nervous system to maturing each ligament and facial feature, your baby is rapidly progressing and changing each day. If you’re researching what to do now that you’re pregnant, it means you’re thinking and learning. You’re developing opinions that will shape your decision, and that means you have the capability to REASON. So, not only are you doing incredible things physically but mentally and emotionally as well. If God has given you the baby in your womb, then you are capable of mothering this child! 5. WITH SOME SUPPORT AND EDUCATION, YOU CAN DO IT! Even if you don’t feel like you have the foundation or background to be a mother yet, you’re not entering this journey alone! Whether or not you have a “village” around you to support you, we’re here for you. Life’s Choices is staffed with a team of trained women who care about you and want to help! From free prenatal resources to one-on-one parenting classes, Life’s Choices is here to provide you the support you need at no cost to you. Though this may not be the journey you planned to be on, don’t be afraid to embrace the beauty of motherhood. Life is miraculous, and children are a blessing from God. You have been gifted with the opportunity to learn and grow within a new type of life and love. If you’re looking for help and support as you prepare to be a parent, Life’s Choices is here for you. You are the BEST mama for your baby, and we’re here to help you tap into your natural, God-given abilities to love and parent your child. Contact us today for more information about our free prenatal, parenting and relationship resources! Contact Us #whyyou039rethebestmomforyourbaby #freepregnancyservices #crisispregnancycenter #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #pregnantandscared #crisispregnancy #unexpectedpregnancy #readingpennsylvania #bestmomforbaby #pregnancyhelp #shouldihaveanabortion #hamburgpennsylvania #berkscounty #kutztownuniversity #kutztown #unplannedpregnancy #pregnancyresourcecenter #pregnancy

There are lots of articles and many discussions on what pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) do and what they say they provide versus what they actually offer women facing a pregnancy decision. At Life’s Choices, our goal is to be transparent and honest while offering practical help and support to women and their partners in difficult situations. Here are a few of the myths some have spread or believed about pregnancy centers in contrast with the truth about what clients actually experience at Life’s Choices’ offices in Kutztown and Hamburg, Pennsylvania. MYTH: Pregnancy centers trick women into coming into their offices with false claims of medical services. TRUTH: At Life’s Choices, we clearly state our limitations of services. From our website to social media posts to answering calls, we share openly what we do offer (pregnancy tests, confirmation ultrasound, STD testing and treatment, classes, and materials) and what we do not offer (prenatal medical care, referrals for abortion, contraception, professional counseling). Our limited range of medical services are overseen by a medical doctor and our staff includes licensed medical professionals such as registered nurses and registered diagnostic medical sonographers. Representatives facilitating testing for sexually transmitted infections have completed Center for Disease Control (CDC) and other trainings provided by the Pennsylvania Department of Health. We can provide a list of local doctors and can assist clients needing to sign up for medical assistance by walking beside them through the application process if they so desire. Pregnant clients are advised to begin routine prenatal care with an obstetrician and we offer a list of referrals if needed. Regular clients are encouraged to make and keep medical appointments, and we always ask clients to check in with their doctor on lesson content. MYTH: Pregnancy centers spread false information about abortion. TRUTH : We are diligent in training our staff to use reputable, evidence-based sources and information when talking to clients. We provide objective information on the different types of abortion available, and use sources including information from the Pennsylvania Department of Health and the CDC . We follow a client-led, permission-based model. This means we don’t impose upon clients information they do not want or need. Instead, we ask open questions and provide information with that client’s permission . We strongly believe that guilt and pressure should not be a factor in talking to a woman in a crisis pregnancy situation. MYTH: Pregnancy centers don’t care about women after they have the baby. TRUTH: This could not be further from the truth about Life’s Choices and like-minded pregnancy centers. Our client representatives build relationships with clients (and sometimes their extended family) through the course of the pregnancy. Once the baby arrives, our support does not end. Clients can continue to meet with their rep and receive any services for as long as they wish. Some clients continue to meet with us regularly for years after the birth of the baby. MYTH: Pregnancy centers require clients to be a person of faith to receive any assistance. TRUTH: We do not force religion on anyone. Life’s Choices is a faith-based organization and we are open about this, explaining to clients that our faith motivates us to provide help and hope to anyone who walks through our doors. However, we are also clear that any person — regardless of their faith, gender, race or any other factor — is welcome here and does not need to adhere to or agree with our beliefs to receive any of our services. MYTH: Pregnancy centers are politically fueled. TRUTH: Life’s Choices is not political in nature. In fact, our staff agrees to avoid political activism upon date of hire. Our focus is helping people in our community, and we believe politics divide enough as it is. We aim to take political division out of our work and discussion and instead focus on the client and her needs in the moment and days ahead. We are also not politically funded. As a non-profit, we receive funding through donations from individuals and community groups. We also raise money through fundraisers throughout the year. No political party pays our bills nor has any say in our philosophy or services. MYTH: Pregnancy centers that offer “free” services do so with many strings attached. TRUTH: No client is ever asked to pay anything for our services , and we also do not collect insurance information or funds. We do offer a selection of items clients may need. Diapers are our most popular item. Others include wipes and other toiletries, clothing and blankets, toys, and formula and food. Most of these items are donated by our community. Anyone in need can come in once a quarter (every three months) and walk away with the items they need. Those interested in taking classes can earn more items if they choose, but this is not required for quarterly assistance. Due to space restrictions, we do not stock large items (eg. furniture) and our clothing sizes only run to 2T. However, we provide referrals and/or vouchers to clients needing items we don’t stock to like-minded organizations in our communities. We also provide referrals to other services, from homeless and housing support to medical and counseling services. It truly takes a village to support pregnant woman, and we are glad to be part of this network of support for women, men and families in Berks County, Pennsylvania! HERE TO SERVE YOU If you’re seeking to know more about pregnancy centers, we encourage you to reach out and ask us! We are grateful to be able to serve our community, and we love what we do. To learn more about our organization’s purpose and mission, we share more about what “crisis pregnancy centers” are here . Whether you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy or simply seeking support in your pregnancy, as a parent or in your relationship, we welcome you to contact Life’s Choices today for help and support at no cost to you. We are here to offer judgment-free, compassionate and confidential care, and we would love to be a free resource for you. CONTACT US #pregnancychoice #crisispregnancycenter #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #prowoman #hamburg #crisispregnancy #whatisapregnancycenter #relationships #pregnancydecision #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #abortion #informedchoices #pregnancycenter #kutztown #pregnancyresourcecenter

The phrase “crisis pregnancy center” may not be familiar to some. To help the local community understand our mission and purpose, here’s a little background about who we are and what we do. WHO IS LIFE’S CHOICES? Life’s Choices began in 1986 as the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Kutztown located in a small college town in Berks County, Pennsylvania. Like many like-minded centers across the nation, we were born from a desire to offer women facing pregnancy decisions solid information and practical help as they grapple with difficult, highly personal pregnancy choices. Today, we have two offices, our original site in Kutztown and a second location in nearby Hamburg, Pennsylvania. It is our desire to reach our community with the information and resources needed to make healthy, life-affirming decisions for individuals and families. By providing prenatal resources, personalized education and relational support, we hope to build a positive Berks County for future generations. We are not a political organization. While we are faith-based, we welcome anyone who comes into our doors regardless of their beliefs, gender or background. The services we provide are always free and confidential. WHAT DOES LIFE’S CHOICES OFFER? As a non-profit solely supported by donations from individuals, businesses and churches, Life’s Choices provides women and families with a variety of beneficial resources. Here is a breakdown of what we offer to clients: Pregnancy Tests Our staff is trained to offer self-administered urine pregnancy tests with clients. We talk them through the process, explain how the test works and make sure they time and read the results properly. We also share with these clients factual information on abortion, including info published by Pennsylvania Department of Health , while being transparent that we do not recommend or perform abortions. We are also not an adoption agency but can provide referrals for clients considering this option. In addition, we share information to clients considering parenting their child (more on that below). Regardless of the test results, clients leave with good information and a promise of our support whenever they need it . Confirmation Ultrasounds A professional sonographer conducts ultrasounds in our Kutztown office for clients who have a positive pregnancy test result. This is a limited obstetric scan which determines if there is a viable pregnancy in the uterus as well as the gestational age. All pregnant women need an ultrasound to medically confirm a pregnancy, including those considering abortion . Clients can take home a picture of their baby from these scans if they wish and all are encouraged to follow up with a doctor. STD/STI Testing We work with the Pennsylvania Department of Health to provide testing for two of the most common sexually-transmitted infections: chlamydia and gonorrhea. Our staff is trained to walk clients through these self-administered tests, generally urine tests for males and swab tests for females. We use fact sheets from reliable sources such as the Center for Disease Control to help clients assess their personal risks factors related to STDs and discuss with them how to reduce or eliminate their risks going forward. Test results are available within a few business days and clients return for results and, if needed, treatment for positive tests with a registered nurse. Material Assistance Our offices stock a supply of commonly needed baby items. These include diapers and wipes, baby clothing, blankets, toiletries and formula. Clients may receive items every three months as needed. Those desiring more items can earn them by participating in our individual education program, Earn While You Learn. Earn While You Learn — Free Classes Clients meet weekly with a staff representative for education topics related to their needs. We utilize evidence-based curriculum such as Bright Course and topics range from prenatal education and parenting classes to life skills and personal development. We also offer healthy relationship mentoring. Many pregnant clients utilize our free, personal childbirth classes with a registered nurse. If they choose, all clients can accumulate points from their classes to earn items needed for their family from our in-house boutique. Others earn gift cards to local stores. Baby Bundle A unique part of our Earn While You Learn program, the Baby Bundle is a special offering of prenatal resources. Often with a partner or support person, pregnant clients take twelve educational classes plus childbirth classes. They can also earn lots of extras including a new infant car seat and newborn photo shoot with a professional photographer. Community Workshops Life’s Choices offers a range of one-time events for the community from time to time. Past offerings have included early-reading readiness and healthy eating for families. On the horizon are classes on baby sign language as well as a series of classes just for dads. We want to support everyone in our community and this is another way to do that! Abortion Recovery Again, we welcome every individual who comes to our office for whatever reason. This includes any woman who has had an abortion. If she chooses to share this part of her story, she will be met with love, compassion and encouragement. For women who want to participate, we offer a small group Bible study to help women process their abortion experience and find closure alongside others with the same experience in their past. Referrals What they say is true — it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes many in our community to provide support to the men and women who walk through our doors. We have actively built connections with many other organizations both locally and nationwide to provide referrals for specific needs. From housing or financial concerns, to signing up for medical insurance or finding a doctor, to connecting with a community of faith, we are grateful for our network of friends with whom we can connect our clients. Life’s Choices is humbled and grateful to be just one of many arms supporting those in tough circumstances. WHAT IS LIFE’S CHOICES MISSION & METHOD? When a client comes to either our Hamburg or Kutztown office for the first time, it’s our goal to offer them a safe and welcoming space to talk about what brought them to Life’s Choices. For clients in a crisis pregnancy situation, our first and foremost concern is the woman in front of us. We want to offer her compassion, not judgment, and we present solid, science-backed and evidence-based information as she considers her choices. We don’t pressure her in any way. As we discuss her situation, we look for ways to see what concerns are on her mind and find ways we can address those needs. Life’s Choices is a member of Care Net , and we highly endorse this umbrella organization’s idea that we are not simply pro-life but “pro-abundant-life.” While some criticize the pro-life community as having no interest in women once we have “saved the baby,” the reality is that we are a pro-woman organization as well and offer individuals ongoing support regardless of their choices. It’s our goal to offer genuine, caring and practical support for women and men no matter where they are on their journey. To read some of the myths sometimes spread about crisis pregnancy centers, check out this blog pos t. HERE TO SERVE YOU If you’re seeking to know more about pregnancy centers, we encourage you to reach out and ask us! We are grateful to be able to serve our community, and we love what we do. And if you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, we welcome you to contact Life’s Choices today for help and support at no cost to you. We are here to offer judgment-free, compassionate and confidential care, and we would love to be a free resource for you. CONTACT US #pregnancychoice #crisispregnancycenter #pennsylvania #pregnancycarecenter #prowoman #hamburg #crisispregnancy #whatisapregnancycenter #relationships #pregnancydecision #hamburgpennsylvania #kutztownpennsylvania #berkscounty #abortion #informedchoices #pregnancycenter #kutztown

Relationships can be difficult, but with a little nurture and love, they can be wonderful! That’s why here at Life’s Choices, we are passionate about providing resources and support to help you invest in your relationship. Valentine’s Day is approaching next week, and while you should love your partner all year round, we’re sharing a few practical tips in honor of Love Day. Although loving your partner well isn’t accomplished by going through the motions of checking off a list, we think it might be helpful to begin with four common courtesies that are essential to any loving relationship . We recognize these are not the only essential components of a loving relationship, but we hope they help to provide a strong foundation. COMMITMENT One beautiful example of commitment is the story of John and Nellie Wooden. Blogger Justin Taylor calls the John and Nellie Wooden story “the greatest love story never told.” After the death of his wife Nellie, John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, would write her a letter every year until the day that he died. After his wife died, John could have been free to look for another relationship — free of any responsibility to Nellie. Yet, his love for and commitment to Nellie continued until his final days. Read more about their story here . What is your definition of commitment? How does your level of commitment affect how you love your partner? When the going gets tough do you get going? Or like John Wooden do you persevere to go above and beyond so that not even in death do you part? COMMUNICATION If you want to love your partner well, it’s important to learn how to communicate well in the midst of conflict. One helpful communication model is nonviolent communication (NVC) developed by psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg. The four steps of NVC: Observation – Observe what we hear or see without blaming, judging or evaluating. Express your feelings –  Often we are taught to express our thoughts rather than our feelings. As a result, we may not even be aware of what we are truly feeling.  The Feeling Wheel is one helpful way to match words to feelings. Express your needs – If we can get in touch with our needs and express them both to ourselves and others then our needs can be fulfilled. Here are a few needs one might have : Certainty : to feel comfortable, feel safe, and feel stable; to be able to predict outcomes and feel protected. Uncertainty/Variety : to have variety and unpredictability as well. It challenges us emotionally and physically and helps us learn to work through fear, conflict, and crisis. Significance : to feel valued, appreciated, needed, special, and important; to know that we have purpose. Love and Connection : to feel included and connected. Human beings aren’t meant to be alone, but rather to be loved and cared for. Growth : to grow emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Contribution : to contribute in a positive way to those around us; to help  others  meet  their  needs. Clearly explain what it is you do desire vs. what you don’t – This fourth component is one that often gets omitted in so many conversations. We tend to expect both ourselves and others to know exactly what it is that would satisfy or underlying need. The clearer our request can be, the easier it is to carry it out.  Dr. Rosenberg formulated a helpful dialogue example: “When I see that __________ I feel _________________ Because my need for ________________ is/is not met. Would you be willing to _______________? “ Reminder: sometimes it’s what you don’t say that matters the most. For example, our team member Charlene shared that in 43 years of marriage, her husband never made even a comment to her of how bad she looks or smells in the morning. CONFESSION Confession can be good for your soul. It is also a good skill to have when working to love your partner well. When you know you’ve made a mistake, be quick to confess. Here are a few things to consider when confessing your mistakes to your partner: Do it in a private space Be humble Ask for forgiveness Ask what should be done next Don’t make the same mistake twice Explain if needed Accept the consequences Confession can be a key factor in reconciliation if you and your significant other are having trouble. When you’re at fault, admitting and apologizing are the first steps to making things right and showing your partner you love them. CREATIVITY Finally, loving your partner well takes creativity! You must be in tune to their likes and dislikes. What makes them laugh? What makes them cry? What angers them? Do they prefer a physical activity or a sedentary activity? What makes them feel loved? Become a sleuth of your partner, observing them in every way. In doing so, it will be easier to come up with creative ways to show your partner you love them. Creative Idea: Take $20 a see what fun and thoughtful purchases you can make for your partner at a thrift shop! What items would mean something to them? Are there any finds that help trigger fun memories you have together? Is there any item you could enjoy using together? Relationships take time and work to build. Did you know Life’s Choices offers free relationship classes as well as a variety of other life skills classes? If you’re seeking to grow in your relationship and find ways to be the best partner you can be, contact us today to learn more about our free classes. About Our Free Classes #communication #relationshiptips #lovingyourpartner #loveyourpartner #confession #creativity #commitment #relationships #healthyrelationships #lovingyourpartnerwell #relationshiphelp #relationshipclasses #relationshipcommunication