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How To Have A College Experience With No Regrets: If you’re starting your freshman year of college you’ve probably heard at least one person tell you that the next four years are going to be “the best years of your life.” In many ways this is true. For most of us there will never be another time in our lives when we are surrounded so closely by friends, can choose from a multitude of non-stop social opportunities and have no real responsibilities other than going to class and completing assignments. What could be better? Unfortunately the following description of one individual’s college experience tells a different story. My Memories of College: Social anxiety fueled by the perceived pressure to live up to the college stereotype of partying all the time Lots of acquaintances, no real friends Meaningless drunken one-night stands leading to complete emotional sterility Chronic procrastination, all-nighters, constant stress and pressure to get good grades Severe sleep deprivation, caffeine addiction, poor nutrition, binge drinking ending in vomiting more often than not The above factors resulting in feeling like crap 24/7, eventually leading to a diagnosis of clinical depression Disillusionment with life in general after learning the hard way all the lessons people try to teach you in high school but you don’t listen because you’re a naive rebellious teenager At Life’s Choices we hear similar stories, ones filled with regret and dissatisfaction. The following statement was made by a 22 year old male student and is one we hear repeatedly from both men and women. His reflection as a senior: “I’m tired of the college lifestyle. I want something more. Partying and sex feels good in the moment but the next day I feel bad. I’m ready for a relationship that’s real.” For many, their regrets aren’t limited to a bad feeling. Their college experience includes the unwanted bonus of an STD, some of which cannot be cured and tag along as an uninvited guest into any future relationship. According to Stanford University’s Sexual Health Resource Center, one in four college students are infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection. Many don’t know they’re infected because STIs often have no symptoms. Undiagnosed STIs cause 24,000 women to become infertile each year. Genital Herpes infects 1 in 5 college aged students in the United States. Herpes outbreaks can be treated but cannot be cured. This does NOT need to be your experience! Here’s how to avoid regrets and make your college years some of the best years of your life: Go deeper in your relationships. Friendships are being formed that can last a lifetime, whether it’s finding your soulmate or a great friend group. This doesn’t happen through getting drunk or hooking up. It comes through meaningful conversations, participating in shared interests and activities, and in being there for one another through emotional ups and downs. The college years are a unique time of self-discovery where you are developing your own values and becoming an independent thinker. Peer pressure and following the crowd is so high school. You’re an adult now. Think for yourself and seek out others with similar values. These years are also a time to discover your gifts and pursue your career interests. Focusing on developing your strengths and interests will pay off in greater life satisfaction in the years to come. Take advantage of every opportunity to work towards finding your life’s calling. Doing what you were meant to do and doing it well is extremely satisfying. Finally, this may be the last time in your life you can go to the dining room and be fed three meals a day without having to grocery shop, cook or clean up after yourself. Okay, it’s cafeteria food but hey, it’s better than cold cereal and PB&J. Enjoy it! Welcome back to school! I hope this is one of the best years of your life so far. But I also hope your friendships and life experiences keep getting better and better as you live life with no regrets.

It’s no secret that as the years go by teens and young adults are becoming more and more sexually active at a younger age. Sex has become just a normal everyday occurrence whether they see it on social media, television or hear about it in school from their friends. Sometimes they don’t realize the consequences of having sex, especially when it comes to getting Sexually Transmitted Diseases. A lot of people have the idea that if they use a condom everything will be ok but that’s not the case. Would you believe that condoms only protect 50% against Chlamydia and Gonorrhea? At Life’s Choices we give free tests for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea because they are two of the most common Sexually Transmitted Infections. Sexually Transmitted Infections are in the same family as STDs, the only difference is you can get rid of STIs completely and STDs you can only treat the symptoms but you’ll have the disease in your body the rest of your life. According to the Pennsylvania Department of Health, the rate for Chlamydia right here in Berks County is at a higher rate compared to Pennsylvania as a whole. Although Gonorrhea is at a lower rate than Pennsylvania overall, it’s still a problem. Most cases of Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are found in people ages 15-24. In Berks County more females are infected then males for both infections. However, the rate of infected females with Chlamydia not only beats out the males but also the average rate in Pennsylvania. Adolescents make up 27% of the sexually active population in the U.S. but they consume about 50% of the STD rate. That’s almost 10 million STDs each year! How can we change this? Of course the only way to remain risk-free is to stay abstinent. It may seem like an impossible task for some, but trust me…it’s possible! If you remain abstinent in your relationship, I think you’ll find that your partnership will grow and maybe turn into something that you never would expect. You’ll be able to rely on more than a physical connection. Remember intimacy doesn’t only mean sex. You can still be intimate with your boyfriend or girlfriend in other ways. For example, having conversations about God, life, the goals you want to achieve, your family, things you experienced in your childhood, etc. These are all conversations that can bring you closer together, allowing you to really get to know each other on a deeper level rather than a sexual one. I had a client come in once and we asked her if she had any regrets entering into her sexual relationships. Her response was an eye opening one. She said, “I definitely regret entering into some of my sexual relationships. I feel like if I never would’ve started, it wouldn’t be issue for me now.” A lot of these young people feel like they can’t stop or they might as well do it because their partner expects them to have sex based on their past. Speaking as someone who just stepped out of the 15-24 age range, I know struggles and temptation are a real thing. You have to be strong and you absolutely have to set boundaries. You must be sure that your boyfriend or girlfriend is on the same page as you. If it’s something they can’t agree with, as hard as it may be, you need to let them go. You need to learn the power of the word “no.” My prayer is that all the clients that come into Life’s Choices will learn their value, show themselves respect, know that God loves them and know that there are people in their community that care for them too.